Another cigarette butt fell into the grass beside the large tree in front of the Summer’s house, adding to the pile already there. Willow stopped on the walkway after getting off the last porch step, hearing the sound of a zippo lighter flicking open and igniting. The small flame lit up the end of another cigarette before the shadowed figure clicked it shut.
“You know, Spike, stalking the Slayer’s house is a bit much, even for you. Some might say you have a little obsession with her.” A small teasing smile appeared on the redhead’s face. She wasn’t surprised to see him there, watching and waiting for Buffy to appear. “She’s not home, but if she catches you out here I don’t think she’s going to find that on the romantic side.”
Spike looked over at her, blowing smoke out between his lips as he lowered the cancer stick from his mouth. His silence made her shift uncomfortably. It seemed like things had been stressed between the other Scoobies and Spike since they found out that he was in love with Buffy. Willow though, she kept trying to treat him just like before. She of all people knew that you couldn’t help who you fell in love with, so who was she to judge?
“Right, none of my business. I’ll just… go.”
“Who said I was ‘ere for the slayer?” His question made her stop mid-step and look back at him. Color her confused, who else would he be there for? Why else would he be there if not for Buffy? Her brows knitted together as she waits for him to continue, but he didn’t say anything. So she asked, assuming that’s what he was waiting for.
“So, um, why are you here?”
Her eyes followed the half smoked cigarette as he flicked it to the side and started to walk toward her. He stopped a few inches ahead of her, his deep, ocean blue eyes locking with hers. Worry filled her at his continued silence. But the way he was looking at her, it made her stomach fill with butterflies. She remained quiet, her emerald eyes glancing at his hand as he reached up, moving a few locks of red hair behind her ear.
“You really ‘aven’t a clue, do you, Red?”
“A-about Buffy?” Of course, she had a clue. She had lots of clues. He was always around them. He was good to Dawn, and both Dawn and her sister had said that it was obvious he was in love with Buffy.
How many more clues did she need?
He cupped her face gently, bringing her out of her inner reasoning. Grazing the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip slowly, he spoke in the most seductive tone of voice known to man. “You’re so bloody beautiful.”
Her heart fluttered in her chest as he took a step forward, closing the distance between them. He leaned down as if to kiss her and she found herself pulling away from him, shaking her head.
“I-I can’t. You—we can’t. I’m with Tara and you want Bu--”
She was cut off when his hands circled around her upper arms, pulling her roughly against his chest. His eyes bore into hers with an intensity that scorched her soul, sending her into a dark abyss of endless desire with just a look.
“I want you!” The muscles in his jaw were visible as he clenched his teeth, attempting to control himself. “You think I don’t know the Slayer isn’t home? That I stand ‘ere night after night pining over ‘er? I don’t.”
Willow opened her mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. This was all a big shock, but nothing could have prepared her for what he was about to say next.
“I’m in love with you, Willow.” His hand went back to her face, his fingers burrowing into her hair, bringing her closer to him. Yet, their lips never touched.
It was wrong, but she wanted him to kiss her. Wanted someone to want her with a violent passion. And for once it was happening. Tara was the gentle kind of lover and she loved her and never wanted to hurt her sweet soul. Spike though, he was rougher, stronger. Someone who could take her to new heights each time they got together. The thought of what he could show her and the current closeness of their bodies started her heart racing.
It was forbidden fruit and she was craving for a taste, no matter how little. It was nothing like she felt when she had cheated on Oz with Xander. This was something new, a rush like she had never felt before.
Before she knew it, his lips pressed against hers, sending sparks throughout her body. Her eyes immediately closed and a soft moan escaped her as she began returning it with a fervor that matched his.
He broke the kiss, panting for unneeded breath, looking down at her flushed face and pale pink lips. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his, searching for the truth behind his words. It was there, staring her in the face. He really did love her, want her. At that moment, she knew that she had just betrayed Tara’s heart and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, her own as well.
Deep down, she always had feelings for the vampire and he brought them to the surface the moment he kissed her, but she couldn’t be with him. Not like they both wanted. No one would accept them.
But should that matter? If they were her friends wouldn’t they understand? She found it unlikely.
“Spike, I…” She stopped, her heart breaking in two at seeing the hope glistening just under the surface of his gaze fall. There was a sadness there that he was trying so hard to hold back, and failing miserably. Perhaps because of an understanding of what she was going through, of what she would have to give up in order to be with him.
He parted from her, taking a few steps back, dropping his hands from her arms to his side just as Tara came outside.
“Willow, you’re still here… I was just—i-is everything ok?” Giving a quick look Tara’s way, Spike looked back at Willow expectantly.
She nodded. “Everything’s fine.” She smiled at her girlfriend, hoping she didn’t notice the tension still lingering between the two of them as she replied, “Spike was looking for Buffy again.”
Tara frowned walking toward Willow, watching as Spike left the yard heading down the sidewalk. Willow followed her gaze and a frown of her own took the place of the fake smile she was wearing.
“He didn’t seem too happy.”
“No…” Willow replied quietly, knowing that it was her who made him feel that way. Soft fingers gently took her arm and a worried voice brought her attention back to reality.
“Your arms… did he, did he do this to you?” Willow looked down at the purple bruises already forming around her arms where his hands had been.
“I-I…” She hadn’t even felt pain when he grabbed her, too caught up in everything else to notice. Her heart pounded in her ears; did this mean Spike could hurt humans again?
“Willow, what aren’t you telling me?” Tara’s tone turned serious and her eyes bored into hers, demanding answers.