They said, revenge is a dish best served cold.
In a way, it is.
But when the dish is finally served and eaten... all it left is a feeling of un-fulfillment.
Of course, I can always blame it to the little soul that has left in me.
But then again, without this tiny little soul, I would never have cared enough to do what I did...
I would never have gotten the taste of revenge.
I guess, at the end of the day...
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
PART 1: REVENGE
Willow Rosenberg could feel tears running down her cheeks, could taste the salt as they reached her lips, even if she could not see through her blurry eyes... could not see the regret and pain that she knew existed in her own eyes. "We have to save him." She heard herself pleading, pleading to the blond girl and the English librarian.
"We will." The blond girl answered.
But somehow, Willow knew; in that small corner of her mind, that Xander was dead. But even if a big part of her knew, she refused to acknowledge that...
Not until Jessie came back with Buffy that afternoon. Willow could not denied it anymore... because it was now a proved fact.
Xander was turned... into one of the monster that had murdered him.
Hate blinded Willow. For all these years, Willow could have never thought that she was capable of such hate. Even more so when she saw Xander at the Bronze. Gone with the goofy smile, replaced by cruel words and evil smirks.
And then, Jessie staked him.
At the moment, watching as her best friend, her child friend, her crush - her love... gone in the wind as nothing but dust. She vowed. Vowed for revenge.
Revenge on the monsters that had murdered the love of her life.
PART 2: NOT ENOUGH
Months of nightmares about the death of her beloved do nothing but only fueling her hate - her resolve on getting what she sought. She became part of the slayer-watcher team, helping Buffy fighting against evil.
But it was not enough.
Willow understood that as a no-body, there was not much she could offer in the war against vampires, not physically anyway. All she could do was to be a cheering squat for Buffy, and try not to get into the way.
Not enough. Not enough to smooth the hate inside her, not enough to smooth the pain that was still hurting her everyday.
Just as it was not enough for Willow to forgive Jessie, even if Jess did freed the demon from her love's body.
She was not being fair, Willow knew. But she could not make herself to go up to the platform and told Jessie not to leave...
Not to leave Sunnydale forever because he had pushed a stake into his dead best friend's heart and that his other best friend refused to even acknowledge him.
Willow simply could not. And so, all she could do was standing there, watching as the train took Jessie away forever... along with the little hesitation that the redhead had since she realized it would never be enough until she could get her perfect revenge on those who were responsible for Xander's death.
And Willow pleaded that when her perfect revenge was finally exacted, it would finally be enough...
Enough for Willow to be Willow again.
PART 3: RACK
Five months and twenty-three days.
It was finally the time for Willow to collect the most important piece inher plan. The only piece that would differentiate her thoughtful plan from stupidity. She took a deep breath, and stepped over the invisible wall.
"You're new." The man with scarred face said as he stepped out from the room at the other side.
"Yes." Slowly, a grin formed. "Come."
Willow followed Rack into the room. She could feel hair at the back of her neck standing painfully, but she ignored the alarm that was screaming in her mind, instead following the almost unreasonable resolve that had bound onto her face. "I need a spell. I heard you may be able to help."
Smirk turned into grin. "Oh?"
"I can pay you-"
Rack shook his head. "I don't need money." He slowly circled Willow. "You really don't have any idea, do you? Your power is coming off in waves."
Rack stopped in front of Willow. "Who told you about me?"
"Then you know what I do."
"I know enough." Willow frowned. "But I'm not a witch-"
"Don't sell yourself short." His head reached towards Willow's chest. "Let me-"
"Wait." Willow took a step back. "The spell."
Rack's dead eyes showed nothing but pity. "Love spell?" He waved his hands in dismissal as he sat on the couch lazily. "Change your test result?"
"A soul binding spell."
Rack's eyes widened as he stared at the redhead in a new light.
PART 4: THE LOST OF INNOCENT
Willow wondered if it was how people felt like when they did drugs, if it was the reason why so many people willing to give up their money, their family, or even their lives to it. She felt like she was on top of the world, that there was nothing she could not do...
But at the small corner of Willow's mind, she knew, it was all nothing but illustration. Rack had given her what she needed, and in exchange, Willow had given him her own innocent. It was the first time since Xander had died that she wondered... wondered if it was all worth. There was so many ways she could revenge her love's death, and yet she chose this path of destruction...
Then again, Willow was someone who would settle on nothing but perfection. It might destroy her in the end, but she knew it would also give her what she craved - a perfect revenge.
PART 5: SLAYER AND WATCHER
Willow waited outside the Summers' house, watching in the shadow as the police took a very confused Buffy Summers away with Mrs. Summers in toll. There was a similar scene played out at Giles' apartment an hour before, only difference was, the watcher should be on his way back towards England by now.
The redhead turned away and slowly made her way towards the cemetery. The arrest on Buffy Summers and Rupert Giles would give Willow about two months to exact her revenge. It was short, Willow knew, and that's why there was no time to waste. Giles might have been able to come back earlier or later, depending whether or not the Watcher Council had enough power to bail him out, but never the less it would be two months before the computer expert in both countries found out the massive stuff up in their computer systems. It would also be about the same time that the slayer and the watcher received letters from Willow - a sea mail that was sent to an un-existed address and returned to them... an explanation from their friend. Willow could, but would not predict their reaction when they read the letter.
No matter what, Willow would get what she wanted.
PART 6: BARGAIN
Willow slowly made her way towards her destination. There were two vampires in her way, but spells Rack had given her gave her the most perfect protection against her enemy. It was almost too easy, but the fact that she had staked these vampires at ease did not calm her nerve.
"Slayer's bitch." A snarled from the vampire called Darla, the one who had kidnapped Xander on that fatal night, the face that Willow could never forget. Buffy had come close staking her couple of times, and the redhead was gladded that Buffy did not success... because seeing the woman's face only fueled her resolve: her nervousness and doubts disappeared, just as Xander disappearing into cloud of dust when he was staked.
Darla had tried to attack her, but instead being called back by a deep, powerful voice. The female vampire could do nothing but obey like a faithful dog, and Willow turned her attention towards the voice.
"A brave witch." The Master complimented. "You staked the guards outside?"
"They were weak anyway." The Master waved his hand in dismissal. "Are you here to fight me?"
"No." Willow spoke. There was nothing but determination in her voice. "I'm here to become a vampire."
The Master might have been attempting to smile, or laugh; Willow did not know which, since there was nothing except an ugly smirk on his face. "You want eternal life?"
"I want to be a vampire." She repeated.
"Ah. The power type." Master nodded in understand, a glimmer of pity-ness shone through the golden yellow, and Willow felt the little soul in her laughed at this foolish vampire. "And why should I do that?"
"Because I can help you. I can free you from this... cage."
It got Master's attention. "And how are you going to do that?"
Willow shook her head. "Not after you turn me."
PART 7: DEAD
Willow had not expected it.
In her perfect little plan it would have been a short but intense pain. After all, she was dying.
Not in a million years she would have expected a long yet pleasant death.
The Master had held her tenderly, the rough skin on his hand smoothing Willow's after he had ordered the other vampires to leave them alone. Willow had expected pain as she titled her head, her mind too focused on the fangs that would be punching into her skin that she did not notice the comforting gesture until another cold hand reached under her shirt.
The hand disappeared, and the Master looked at her curiously. "I thought you want to become a vampire." He pushed away the hair covering Willow's eyes: a lover's touch.
The redhead opened her month, to protest, to argue, but no word was spoken. The Master smirked in satisfaction, his lips reached for Willow's, touching, tasting... demanding. The disgust slowly turned into desire as it surfed through Willow's young body; the hate that was burning her soul replaced by lust and heated her skin. She let herself fell into the Master's embrace, permitting herself to lean into the Master's touch, allowing her hands to reach for Master's neck and held it in place as the cold lips slowly moving downwards.
The cold hand returned under Willow's shirt, and she welcomed it, just as she had welcomed her death minutes ago. Willow did not even notice when the vampire finally free her from the restrict of her clothes, her senses focusing solely on the sensation that was consuming her, leaving nothing but the need of release.
Willow did not know what she was asking for, but obviously the Master understood as he pulled her towards the thrown not far behind, freeing himself from his confining leather pants and entered her. The redhead felt pain, but it quickly disappeared as her unknown plead was answered. Moans from the young girl filled the fallen church, the once holy place that had imprisoned the Master for all these years, leaving nothing but the smell of the sin of flesh.
When the tension that was boiling inside Willow's body finally exploded, the Master bit into her neck and drunk. The redhead could feel her life being drawn into the monster that was holding her, but she did nothing except holding him tighter, enjoying the coldness that was surrounding her.
The fangs finally retreated, and the Master's voice whispered into her ear. "Drink."
Willow forced herself to focus her sight, and found a thin line of red on the deadly white skin. Wasting no time, she launched forward, and sucked like a staving child.
When the Master finally pushed her away, Willow could no longer react to things around her... could not see, could not hear, could not feel. All she knew, at the back of her mind, was one thing: she was going to reborn tonight...
And she would have her perfect revenge.
PART 8: REBORN
Willow woke up with a start.
She did not care who she was, or what she was. All she cared about was to dig and claw...
Dig herself up from the dirt, and claw away from where the dead stay dead... to where the live lived.
Dig. Claw. Dig. Claw. Dig. Claw.
When she finally reached the surface, she looked down at her naked skin, and rolled her eyes.
"He wants to go with the tradition and bury me six feet under, and yet didn't bother to dress me before burying me."
She pushed herself up from the hole that was her grave, and started petting away the dirt on her body as she took into her surrounding.
Suddenly, she stopped.
She slowly reached towards her chest, her palm touching her cool skin just above her heart. A single tear rolled down from her cheek.
"All the sacrifice I made is for you."
PART 9: WORKING IN FAVOR
It was time liked this that Willow would doubt... doubted if it was really here: the little soul that she received by exchanging her innocent.
Doubted, when she found herself draining the life from human beings, killing them in order to satisfy her own hunger.
But she did feel remorse afterwards - when her stomach was finally full.
Doubted, when she found herself in the company of the monster like Master, enjoying what he offered her: the dirty satisfaction that should only be reserved to those she loved.
But she did feel guilt afterwards - when she remembered the reason she had become what she had become.
Was it how little soul worked in a vampire? Remorse as an after fact?
But then, Willow wondered if it should be what she wanted. After all, it was the after fact factor that allowed Willow to become one of the most savage
vampires in the Order of Aurelius, allowing Willow to be the Master's favorite - two weeks after she was turned.
Everything was working in her favor.
PART 10: DARLA
Looking at Darla who was chained in front of her, Willow allowed her little soul to enjoy the sight a bit before shoving it back into the small safe at the back of her mind, and locked it up. The once pretty vampire had half of her skin peeled off from her face, her fangs being pulled out, her nose being cut off, along with her left breast, lying useless on the ground.
Willow had planned to kill the vampire the first night she took her, after she had torn the vampire's fangs away one by one. It was to be a small mercy to the vampire who had killed Xander. The offer of that mercy, though, was retreated when she found out that the bitch could not even remember Xander's name.
She would never forget his name now.
Master was furious when he heard that Willow had locked Darla up for her own sick pleasure, just as he was furious when he found out Willow had dusted more than half of his minions.
But the anger was quickly forgotten when he saw what Willow did to Darla. She was one of his best, he told her; she was almost as inhuman as the Master himself, he praised.
Of course, it didn't hurt when Willow bought him more witches. The Master needed lots and lots of power in order to be able to break the invisible wall around him, and blood of witches were the best. Rack wasn't too happy about it though - he would be out of his business if Willow kept feeding Master with witches in Sunnydale.
So she ate him.
It was the best and at the same time the stupidest move Willow had ever made. Rack was her living dictionary in magic, the only one who could help her to learn more... but his blood was ten times more powerful that those witches Willow had fed the Master, giving her a bit of advantage when the time finally came... when Master ordered her to bring the slayer to him, during the final chapter of retribution.
Besides, no matter how powerful witches' blood were, it was the slayer blood that would give him the ultimate power.
PART 11: WHIMPER
"Let her go. You've your revenge, Willow."
The redhead glanced at the other figure at the back, the vampire who was once called Angelus, the other vampire who had a soul. He was foolish enough to think that he could take Willow. In other situation, it might be true.
Too bad he didn't know Willow knew magic. The souled vampire didn't even know what hit him until he found himself being caged at the corner of the dark room, the same room that had imprisoned his sire.
Willow picked up the blessed knife nearby and secure it onto the harness that was now tightened onto her hips. The Master had smiled when she showed it to him, and the smile grew every second when she demonstrated its use on a minion. Who would have thought using a blessed knife as a dildo could be so much fun?
"Just let her go, or stake her." Angel tired again. "I know you, Willow. I know your soul. I can still see it in your eyes." He pleaded. "Don't do it. She has suffered enough."
Willow glanced at the male vampire again. "Not enough." She answered, and shoved the knife into the other vampire's clitoris. There was no scream coming from the woman, only whimpers, as her voice broke the third day she was with Willow. "Not nearly enough."
It would be hours before the whimpers stopped again, and it was then would the male vampire turned his head back towards his sire who was still chained at the other side of the room.
PART 12: SOUL AT WORK
Willow had underestimated her.
Joyce Summers, mother of the current slayer, sabotage mother of human Willow.
She had managed to get Buffy out of jail, and back to Sunnydale in less than a month. Not even the Watcher Council could get everything settled that quickly.
And because of Buffy's early release, the slayer managed to catch up with Willow when the redhead was least expected, and saved Angel and Darla.
Well, she freed Angel. Willow was forced to stake Darla before anyone could reach the dying (again) vampire - she was not about to let anyone saved Darla, when there was no one saved Xander.
When Buffy and Angel finally left, both optimistically thinking that Willow's soul would keep her in check, Willow was furious about Mrs. Summers.
She was not supposed to be able to clear Buffy's name that quickly. And for that, the little demon inside her suggested killing this woman...
Then, the little soul stepped out of its safe and told the demon to fuck off.
And it did.
It was the first time, for almost a month since Willow's death and re-birth, that she felt her soul at work.
And Willow did not know whether she should be happy, or afraid.
PART 13: FINAL CHAPTER
The slayer almost died fighting the Master, if not Angel had saved her.
The Master was nearly dusted, if not Willow had kicked away the stake in Angel's hand before he could push it into the Master's undead heart.
Of course, at the end, the Master was still dusted... by the hands of his new child.
To be honest, it would have been easier for Willow if she let Angel staked the Master. But then, what would be the fun?
The redhead almost laughed when she saw the look on the Master's face as she bit into him. It was almost the same look human had when she bit into them. Vampire of the vampires, Willow would love to think.
Of course, the Master did manage to deliver a couple of kicks and fists before Willow beheaded him. He was too weak to save himself by then, being beaten up by Buffy and Angel and got drained by Willow.
The Master's blood had made Willow even stronger, stronger than any vampire at her age had the right to. But all Willow felt was emptiness...
Now that the revenge was exacted, all was left was the cold inside her...
Along with the aftertaste of blood.