[ - WILLOW'S POV - ]
Tara finally left.
I didn't stop her. What's the point of stopping her anyway? She isn't going to forgive me.
Not this time.
I step out of the house the moment the cab took Tara away. I have told Dawnie that I am going for a walk... not that she cares.
Buffy isn't back yet, so going out isn't a problem.
May be she just doesn't want to see me. May be she isn't ready to forgive me... may be they aren't ready to forgive me.
May be they will never forgive me.
But what can I say? What can I still say?
I know I have a problem. Oh yeah. Big problem.
I always have.
Just that they never saw it before.
Not Buffy, not Xander, not even Tara.
Oh, don't left out Jess.
Ironically, my parents are the only one who knows about it.
Big shock, huh? Not really.
Why do you think they have never been there for me?
Why do you think my mother tried to burn me on a stake?
Because of that 'we-are-two-innocent-children-but-not' demon? BOO!
Because they are ashamed of me.
Yeah. They are ashamed of Willow Rosenberg, their only daughter.
Why? Because their daughter, the two famous psychologists in the States, has bipolar disorder - or sometimes called manic depression.
I have been on medication since I was... well, small.
It is easy to cover it up, actually.
Telling Buffy and Tara that I was having vitamins, telling the gang I was in the library when I was actually at my psychologist - not that I've gone to him anymore, or took my medication.
On top of that, I have addictive personality: first school, then magic and Tara.
Don't get me wrong. I love Tara, with all my heart.
It is just, at the same time, I'm so addicted to her that I couldn't let her go.
That's why I used magic. That's why I used the spell... twice.
Pathetic, I know. But it's the truth.
Or simply, I'm just a scared little girl, too scared to let her go.
Or let my magic go.
And now, I lost everything...
Well, everything except magic.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose it some day too. It's just a matter of time. Nothing that matters to me stays. To be honest, I should have get used to it by now.
Even though it still hurts.
[ - STILL WILLOW'S POV - ]
My hands are bleeding.
Oooookay. When did I hurt myself?
Don't care either.
The sun is going to rise very soon. Damn. I have just reached the edge of Sunnydale without even knowing it.
I should head back. Buffy and the others must be worrying sick... or not.
Okay. Stop it Rosenberg. Don't be silly. They love you... or not.
I should turn back... or not?
Wait. Did I just saw someone in the woods?
Who's- oooookay. Am I having illustration or did I just see Drusilla smiling at me?
Well, dark silk dress, a doll in hand... okay, dancing and skipping in the dark. Definitely Dru.
Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! She's walking towards me. I have to run! I have to...
Well, if I die, I die... I think.
Okay. What am I thinking? Shouldn't I start screaming?
And why is she smiling at me?
And why is she holding me hands?
And why is she licking my wounds?
And more important, why am I letting her doing this?
May be it's time for me to be on meds again?